5. The Cycle and Return

2020

The artist's literary work                                                                                    

The Creator loved her immensely, and she slept happily in His palms, warmed by His warmth and love. She had searched for Him for so long, walked so many paths in search of the road to Him: built ships, grew wings, learned to crawl and be invisible to slip past the guards protecting the doors to His kingdom, ignited herself with fire so He would notice her and come for her. And sometimes she would drop her hands, exhausted, and simply fall to the ground, lying there for a long, long time until her strength returned.

She does not remember exactly when or how she found Him. At some point, she simply stopped fighting herself and the whole world—most likely from a total lack of strength, or from a sense of helplessness and not knowing what to do next—but it was at that exact moment that she was finally able to hear herself! She just stood up and walked where her feet led her, and the warm wind, like an unseen friend, nudged her forward. It was as if she was seeing this world for the very first time! She looked around, marveling at the Creator's endless imagination and His creations! And one day, sitting under a tree to enjoy the birds singing, she didn't even notice how she fell asleep. And she woke up already in His palms!

And now, filled with love, gratitude, and happiness, and not even used to the thought that she had finally found Him, found her place, that nothing threatened her here, that she had nothing to prove to anyone, nowhere to run, she caressed and kissed His large hands, crying with joy and happiness. It felt as if her heart would burst, and tears streamed down like a river, never stopping!
"Maelique, my dear, why are you crying? I have always been beside you! I watched you grow, watched you explore yourself and the world around you, and I admired you! I was even afraid to breathe, lest my breath spoil the world you created! You were so beautiful, so skillful, and so selfless! My beloved child!"
"But I always believed You existed. Sometimes I felt like I could even sense You somewhere nearby, but I could never see You, and I was afraid that it was all just my imagination, and I would never find You. I was so scared!"

It is unknown how much time Maelique spent warming herself in the warm and strong hands of the Creator. Time seemed to have stopped, and she, like a hungry child, could not get enough of this warmth. With all her might, she squeezed His big thumbs and held them in her embrace for a long, long time until she fell asleep! And each time she woke up, she pinched herself painfully to make sure it was not a dream.

And one day the Creator said to her: "My treasure! My dear Maelique! I have an extraordinary gift for you! I created it especially for you! Many, many thousands of years ago! I know you have always dreamed of seeing the ocean! And here it is—before you! The ocean of your dreams! Your ocean! You can finally look at it and feel its power, its strength, its endless depth, and its possibilities! I know, I know, it is still not clear to you why this desire appeared in your heart." He added and smiled, noticing Maelique's eyes wide with delight! A moment later, her mouth slowly began to open in surprise as well!

"I know," He continued, "you are used to looking for meaning in everything. And that is for a reason! You see, there are so many things to do on earth and in heaven! So much has already been done, so much is yet to be done, but the waters..." The Creator paused slightly and continued: "I tried to fill them with various wonders, but there is still so much magic to be invented there! Most people actually believed my fabrication that you cannot live there because there is no air." He chuckled childishly at his successful prank, then took her hands and looked intently into her eyes. "But all this time... your magical ocean has been waiting for you! For you, specifically! Because only you can fill it with meaning, with life... with anything you want! And I do not doubt you for a single moment!

The most beautiful creatures you can think of have been waiting for you! All the most extraordinary worlds you will create have been waiting for you! Waiting for you to learn everything you have learned; to love yourself and believe in yourself! They were waiting and calling for you!
Why do you think you always liked drawing fish since childhood? Why did you want to be a sea turtle, which on land is clumsy, sullen, and thick-skinned, even if safe, but in the water is graceful, beautiful, and free?
And your dream to learn French? When you started learning your first words, no one understood why you needed it, but you felt that it was something native, yours! You don't even know it yet, but the French language too..." The Creator placed a finger to His lips so as not to give it away and fatherly stroked Maelique's hair.

She was still standing with her mouth open, her eyes wet and wide, unable to move! She could not contain all the love that showered upon her like a stardust rain. And at some point, she slowly began to shrink with fear—it had happened before. She often did not believe in her own strength and gave up when all the obstacles were already behind and she just had to take a step forward and take the earned "prize" or the artifact found in difficult "expeditions" leading to the cherished goal.
"But I don't know how to do anything!" Maelique said in a trembling voice. "I found You completely by accident! Everything I did consciously did not lead me to You! All the ships I built sank or went the wrong way, all my wings eventually fell apart..." And she wept, plunging into the abyss of her unhappy memories of loneliness and disappointment.

"All of this is exactly what brought you to me! In all these searches, you found yourself! There is still work to be done, of course," the Creator ruffled her hair and gently touched the tip of her nose with His finger, "but those are all small things!" Maelique had never really thought about the fact that being able to reach the goal is an art in itself: understanding the direction, seeing the possibilities, analyzing resources, mapping the course, moving towards the goal, and, of course, as far as possible, being ready for anything. She didn't think it was all important and didn't include these successes in her list of victories. The absence of a tangible "prize" as a physical result devalued in her mind all the skills acquired in the process. And standing before a priceless "artifact," for some reason she could not allow herself to take it in her hands. She felt shy, believed she was taking someone else's place, that she was not worthy, and so on.

"...those are all small things!" the Creator repeated and pointed out to Maelique a sunbeam breaking through the clouds. Along this beam, a beautiful maiden was descending with a flowing step. She shone in her magnificence and beauty. "Meet Maelique, this is Alanathea, the ruler of the clouds!" the Creator introduced the stranger, "She has a gift for you."
"Beautiful Maelique! With tears of emotion, I watched you inspirationally grow your wings, how you learned to fly... together with you I rejoiced in your successes and together with you I wept from the pain of your falls! It was not in vain! Do you know that thanks to you, many wonderful people saw their goal and their path? They are learning to grow their wings, they are searching for and discovering themselves!"
"But how?" Maelique asked.
"I want to show you something," Alanathea said and handed Maelique a snow-white, gorgeous feather. "This is the very first, most magical, and most real feather you have ever seen in your life! Remember? You were still little and found it in the yard! You played with it all day. And it was a living creature to you! Your friend, who would either run away from you or obediently nestle in your palms—just like you nestled in the Creator's palms just now. This feather inspired you and allowed you to see the world completely differently! Do you remember?" Tears flowed down Maelique's cheeks. "And now..." Alanathea continued, "...the feathers from your wings fly around the world and inspire other people, returning their faith in our cloud world and faith in themselves!"

Alanathea embraced Maelique and pointed to the smooth surface of the water, where a beautiful ship stood in the distance: "And do you know, my dear, that not only your wings give light and inspiration to many wonderful people?" Maelique, overwhelmed with emotion, looked at Alanathea in surprise, but she, gently and tenderly holding her hand, continued: "See this beautiful ship? It was built according to your blueprints! They were found one day in a pile of some ridiculous papers by wonderful guys; they liked the idea and they all built this extraordinary ship together! And now it has not only brought many benefits to its creators but also helps people see even more magic in this world! And this is just the beginning of its journey!"

Maelique could not utter a word! Was all of this really her?
The Creator approached the beautiful maidens looking into the distance, embraced them, and said to Maelique: "You are the artifact! A true treasure! Go now, fear nothing, and create your most fabulous worlds! The ocean awaits you! Your ocean!"

Maelique entered the water without the slightest fear—there, strangely enough, it was not scary at all, and there was absolutely no need to breathe. The water pleasantly caressed and enveloped every cell of her skin, and around her was only a sandy bottom and textured rock walls. "A bit dark," Maelique thought, "and kind of boring," a second thought echoed in her head, arriving right after. "Well, no matter, we'll fix that!" She smiled at her determination and boldly stepped forward into the darkness.
"A lilac castle for guests is definitely needed here!" She began to fantasize, giving full freedom to her thoughts. "And let beautiful light pour through the schools of fish... and here will be a beautiful mango garden... or an orange one. Yes! An orange one! Because Anna loves oranges so much!..."

And so, sinking deeper and deeper, and conjuring up more and more new ideas, she saw a huge gray fish slowly approaching her out of the darkness! Huge, smooth, and majestic! Apparently, it was a very old and wise fish. It moved slowly, thoughtfully, and looked just like a fabulous grandmother-fish.
"Bonjour, Maelique!"* the fish said to her in a low, sultry, and aristocratic voice...
"Je m'appelle Maréville. Veux-tu que je te raconte mes rêves?"**

*Hello, Maelique! (fr.)